I know what it feels like

 to be truly despised. I have despised myself so deeply.  I don't know what it feels like for others when they feel loved, but I know that feeling because I have found it for myself.  I love myself.  I love living in my body.  I love the feeling of being completely in my body. I love being in tune with my soul, my infinite self. The God that lives within me. When something comes up, when a thought, inspiration moves to me to tears, action, peace, I know that what it is telling me is truth.  Two days ago I was inspired, nudged forward into a space of forward thinking.  What would it take to be a yoga teacher? No, I'm not a yogi, I'm not yogi material. I could never...but what if I could? What if this is the thing I need to sit up and pay attention to? does it match anything I have ever thought about myself? does it match who I am or who I want to be? yes, to all these questions. I love and want what yoga and meditation gives to me and I want to give it to others.  I want to create the space for spiritual growth and being in tune and the community that comes with it. Who is telling me that I can't do this? What story am I holding on to that says it isn't me? Why not? 

Tonight I am in awe of myself.  Of my journey, of my ability to find the truth. Of my depth of love for myself and what it feels like when I am living in that space that is true to me.  Magnum was so flirty today, which other times would have left me wounded, sad, longing. I would have told myself a story about how he couldn't possibly act that way without wanting something more. but instead, today, I just had fun.  Flirting, teasing, being present. Enjoying the moment for what it was. Friends having a goofy, grown-up time. There is a part of me that still wants to be with him. But it doesn't consume me. There is a bigger part of me that wants to be open to all the love that might be coming my way in any capacity. I was able to receive the love he was giving without any expectations because I had my boundaries.  I had my own love to fall on.  I am enough. I am in overflow.  I am LOVE! 

I leave you with this photo of the sunset from my night run last night.