when I was a little girl I wrote in my journal

 so that I would have a way to go back and remember what it was like to be young.  I remember having this very thought when I was about 7 or 8 years old. I remember thinking, "I might forget what it is like being a kid when I'm older." so I wrote things that happened every day so that I would always have it.  And I still do.  

Today I want to write because one day I might forget what it feels like to be held. carried. cared for so completely by the unseen world. I have a deep connection to the energy that is connecting the life force that exists on this planet. I love nature and all the people. We are tied together in an inexplicable and infinite way that words cannot adequately express except for one. Miracle. I just looked up the definition of miracle and it is the word I am looking to use. 

They are sometimes small, these miracles. A text, phone call, email, spot of sunshine, treat on a doorstep, piece of mail.  But these things imply objectivity. As if miracles are out of our control. I have experienced miracles in the last month that have come from within and outside of myself. I have wakened in the morning to be pushed by an unseen force to move and speak with family. I have wakened in the morning and been given the gift of sight, vision, exquisite foresight for my personal journey.  I have been in the throes of wanting to not exist.  Not just to be dead, but for all consciousness to cease, to be gone from this life rather than to feel the pain I was feeling. It brings me to tears thinking of it. And in that darkness, anguish, grief and anger came something out of the blue.  A timely text, at the moment I was looking for someone to hold me, someone was there.  There was no reason for them to call at that moment, other than the beautiful unseen connection between a mother and her child. It is inescapable. It is palpable. It is real. When you are in tune with this energy, this unseen power, inspiration comes like "a bullet from the blue." If you don't heed the call you miss the miracles.  The ones you can create and the ones that will come flowing freely to you. 

I have so much gratitude in my heart for other worldly humans who are connected with the source that ties us all together. I have received an outpouring of love and support from so many who may have no clue that they are holding me up so completely with their words, spirit and kindness. Just this morning I received a text from a friend I have not seen or spoken to in a while.  She sent me a link to a talk that made her think of me.  I don't know why she was thinking of me, but I needed to hear the talk.  I have received letters, songs, gifts, food, service, hugs, messages, videos from so many loving, kind people that I cannot contain the gratitude I feel.  I am in awe and wonder at the magnificence and majesty of the miracles that have come my way. I cannot breathe without expressing the gift that is this existence. 

I leave you with this photo of moss growing between the cracks of paving stones, in the backyard of a cabin in Arizona.